5 Reasons Why You Should Consider Going to Counseling.
Hello! I hope you all are having a wonderful time!
This blog post was intended to go up before New Years!
Today go grab a concha and brew your favorite coffee because we are going to get real!
I am going to start a new section:
Cafecito & Chisme. Spanish for Coffee & Gossip. Where I am going to get real about serious topics, and often taboo for our Latinx culture.
Today, I will talk about counseling/ therapy, and how it was helpful for my grieving process, and I will give you 5 reasons to start counseling as a new years resolution.
Background story:
My mom passed away when I was 14-ish. I knew from that moment that somehow I was going to grow up broken. Losing my mom at a young age, changed my life in many ways: I had to grow earlier, and I had to become the "mom" to a 7-year-old. My grieving process has been TOUGH! Because I had so many people telling me how I should grieve, act and think. Anyway, I'll leave that for another post.
I am by no means a professional and this is based only on my personal experience. You should do what's best for you always.
So let's begin!
So let's begin!
1. You are dealing with an ADDICTION!
I strongly believe, most of our addictions are BAD coping skills to our trauma, our emotions, and stress. In a world where emotions are shut down and materialistic things are all that matters, we find comfort, in alcohol, food, drugs, shopping and more. I was a shopaholic, in fact, one of my favorite movies is "Confessions of a Shopaholic." Buying gave me "happiness" for a bit, then I felt guilty about spending money, then to shut that emotion I would buy more and the circle was an endless routine. Any addiction works the same way, you don't want to feel bad, so you do something to shut the emotion, drinking, smoking, shopping eating, etc. Society has made stress a bad thing. But in reality, a normal level of stress is what keeps you going. Having to pay bills, makes you go to work. The problem comes when stress is not managed properly or it's getting in the way of a healthy lifestyle. Emotions are what makes us human, and by no mean should be ignored. Getting help always works. Counselors listen, they provide coping skills. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
2. YOU ALWAYS END UP IN BAD RELATIONSHIPS.
And I do not only mean, romantic relationships but friendships too.
We are social animals, we want to be part of a group. We conform to fit in and often, involve in toxic relationships. One thing I learned in counseling is NEVER SETTLE FOR SOMETHING LESS THAN WHAT YOU WANT. I had this void I needed to fill. Losing my mom left an emptiness and I engaged in toxic relationships because I wanted to feel "loved" not that I did not have love from my family, but I wanted to have a connection with someone. I always settled for less, for shitty relationships, and I always ended up hurting. I realized that I was just "comfortable" with having someone giving me half loving, and I preferred that than having no love at all. I realized that hurt me more because things would always end up bad, and I had to work on healing from that. I now have clear what I want. A healthy mind is a wonderful start for any relationship. I think we all had had a toxic relationship at some point in our life. Whether it is a friend or a partner. Toxic relationships are not normal. Nobody has the right to make you feel "less" or like you have to fight to feel loved! Find comfort in a friend or family member, and do not be afraid to walk away from the toxic person. There are always resources you can use, toxic SHOULD NEVER BE AN OPTION!
And I do not only mean, romantic relationships but friendships too.
We are social animals, we want to be part of a group. We conform to fit in and often, involve in toxic relationships. One thing I learned in counseling is NEVER SETTLE FOR SOMETHING LESS THAN WHAT YOU WANT. I had this void I needed to fill. Losing my mom left an emptiness and I engaged in toxic relationships because I wanted to feel "loved" not that I did not have love from my family, but I wanted to have a connection with someone. I always settled for less, for shitty relationships, and I always ended up hurting. I realized that I was just "comfortable" with having someone giving me half loving, and I preferred that than having no love at all. I realized that hurt me more because things would always end up bad, and I had to work on healing from that. I now have clear what I want. A healthy mind is a wonderful start for any relationship. I think we all had had a toxic relationship at some point in our life. Whether it is a friend or a partner. Toxic relationships are not normal. Nobody has the right to make you feel "less" or like you have to fight to feel loved! Find comfort in a friend or family member, and do not be afraid to walk away from the toxic person. There are always resources you can use, toxic SHOULD NEVER BE AN OPTION!
3. Your Childhood was tough.
You got some baggage. Shit (sorry for the language). The way you were raised is going to have a BIG impact on who you're going to be as an adult. I took a psychology class, and I learned a lot about how the brain works. Thus I can say, a healthy childhood brings healthy adults into society. There is a lot that goes into raising a child. I mean you gotta make sure you give them attention, but no too much! You gotta make sure, you put discipline but not too much to the point they feel like they are part of the army. Oh and you gotta protect them, but not to the point where they can't do anything by themselves. Anyway, let's move on, at this point (I believe must of us are adults) what our parents did during our childhood is now our responsibility and we have to take action. Like counseling. Blaming our parents, our circumstances are not going to change us, or in this case, heal us. I read a really good book in Spanish about this topic. It talked about the most common childhood traumas, and how it reflects later on in life. Most of our parents went through the same things as kids, but they did not realize they needed to "heal" and they passed that unto us. The enemy for progression is IGNORANCE. That ignorance is what makes us take bad decisions. After I read the book, I acknowledged that what happened to my parents wasn't my fault, and it also wasn't my fault what happened to me but because it is a part of me, it is my responsibility to move on and heal from that. With that being said, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE think twice before what you say to a kid, it might be something that they are going to have to deal with later on life.
You got some baggage. Shit (sorry for the language). The way you were raised is going to have a BIG impact on who you're going to be as an adult. I took a psychology class, and I learned a lot about how the brain works. Thus I can say, a healthy childhood brings healthy adults into society. There is a lot that goes into raising a child. I mean you gotta make sure you give them attention, but no too much! You gotta make sure, you put discipline but not too much to the point they feel like they are part of the army. Oh and you gotta protect them, but not to the point where they can't do anything by themselves. Anyway, let's move on, at this point (I believe must of us are adults) what our parents did during our childhood is now our responsibility and we have to take action. Like counseling. Blaming our parents, our circumstances are not going to change us, or in this case, heal us. I read a really good book in Spanish about this topic. It talked about the most common childhood traumas, and how it reflects later on in life. Most of our parents went through the same things as kids, but they did not realize they needed to "heal" and they passed that unto us. The enemy for progression is IGNORANCE. That ignorance is what makes us take bad decisions. After I read the book, I acknowledged that what happened to my parents wasn't my fault, and it also wasn't my fault what happened to me but because it is a part of me, it is my responsibility to move on and heal from that. With that being said, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE think twice before what you say to a kid, it might be something that they are going to have to deal with later on life.
4. You lost someone close to you.
Ah, grieving.
I did an academic summary based on how having counseling sessions while grieving, improves your emotions, and prevents you from having depression or anxiety. Losing someone close to you sucks big time! And it sucks more when people tell you "You know, that's the life cycle."
Ah, grieving.
I did an academic summary based on how having counseling sessions while grieving, improves your emotions, and prevents you from having depression or anxiety. Losing someone close to you sucks big time! And it sucks more when people tell you "You know, that's the life cycle."
Well, yeah Karen, but I have emotions and I have the right to feel angry!
Counseling gives you coping mechanisms, it helps make the process less "hurtful" and it makes you realize, everybody grieves differently. And there's no such thing as grieving too much or how you "should" grieve. Or maybe you lost a close person through a breakup, or they moved away. In a way, you have to grieve that person too! Never underestimate the power of THERAPY!
Counseling gives you coping mechanisms, it helps make the process less "hurtful" and it makes you realize, everybody grieves differently. And there's no such thing as grieving too much or how you "should" grieve. Or maybe you lost a close person through a breakup, or they moved away. In a way, you have to grieve that person too! Never underestimate the power of THERAPY!
5. Because seeking help is always OKAY!
Latinx folks think counseling and mental health es del cucuy! Like "Uh you go to counseling" "Tu Estas loca" I learned to put those comments aside because my health is more important than some comments based on taboos. I grew up thinking I had to be strong all the time. I couldn't cry in public, because that was weak. That ain't true. First of all, showing emotions, and being vulnerable shows more strength than, pushing all the emotions aside. Let me tell you something, if you're sick, you go to the doctor right? Then why not seek help when your mind is having trouble too? We need to ask more resources for mental health, for schools, workplaces, communities. Mental health is IMPORTANT and should be acknowledged more.
Resources:
HTX:
Communities in Schools
Counseling sessions, referrals if you need money or food!
Open Counseling
Find affordable counseling near you.
Lifeline Suicide Prevention
YOU MATTER
1-800-273-8255
I feel like sometimes life it's too much! And if you feel like that, please know YOU ARE NOT ALONE! I will try to update the post if I find new resources!
BABY, YOU ARE GOLD!
To all of you reading this post, thank you!
Please be thoughtful, and please take this post with an open mind and an open heart. It's 2020 let us leave those taboos in the past, let us HEAL!
You're not alone!
This one was hard to write because I wanted to put a lot of info, but I did not want to be too much. I hope you like it. Please share with someone you might think it will be helpful.
Latinx folks think counseling and mental health es del cucuy! Like "Uh you go to counseling" "Tu Estas loca" I learned to put those comments aside because my health is more important than some comments based on taboos. I grew up thinking I had to be strong all the time. I couldn't cry in public, because that was weak. That ain't true. First of all, showing emotions, and being vulnerable shows more strength than, pushing all the emotions aside. Let me tell you something, if you're sick, you go to the doctor right? Then why not seek help when your mind is having trouble too? We need to ask more resources for mental health, for schools, workplaces, communities. Mental health is IMPORTANT and should be acknowledged more.
Resources:
HTX:
Communities in Schools
Counseling sessions, referrals if you need money or food!
Open Counseling
Find affordable counseling near you.
Lifeline Suicide Prevention
YOU MATTER
1-800-273-8255
I feel like sometimes life it's too much! And if you feel like that, please know YOU ARE NOT ALONE! I will try to update the post if I find new resources!
BABY, YOU ARE GOLD!
To all of you reading this post, thank you!
Please be thoughtful, and please take this post with an open mind and an open heart. It's 2020 let us leave those taboos in the past, let us HEAL!
You're not alone!
This one was hard to write because I wanted to put a lot of info, but I did not want to be too much. I hope you like it. Please share with someone you might think it will be helpful.
